So if you’ve read our blog at least once you know I have a love affair with The Dew…Mountain Dew that is. It got me through some pretty rough times. Rough times meaning every single day since I had kids, or KID because I was an addict even before Bailey was born but that initial sleep deprivation took it to a whole new level.
If you’ve read this blog more than once you might know that it’s so bad I’ve had clients bring me a soda to their session, people show up on my doorstep with soda in hand as a mid-day surprise, Imo’s will deliver me JUST a soda and word about that got around enough I’ve had lots of people order LONG DISTANCE for me during rough times (mostly when PJ was in the hospital). Blog readers and internet friends I’ve never even met. It’s bad. Like most days I drink between one and three 32oz Mnt Dews just to survive.
And it’s not just because I’m tired (which I am) but it’s mainly b/c it’s the ONE thing I have always treated myself with. Even at our poorest I could dig out 73 cents to go get a soda. I don’t drink alcohol or smoke or go to nice restaurants or buy myself nice clothes/shoes/make-up/accessories and I don’t get my hair done (or even cut) but maybe once or twice a year (and then we usually trade work with someone) and a manicure is using the kid’s nail clippers in the shower. Truly, we’ve ALWAYS lived on a tighter than tight budget and so this was my one huge splurge. It was a TREAT. The thing that broke up my day when I could run to the gas station. The thing that gave me a boost of energy to make it through dinner or baths or work or carpool or whatever. The thing that helped me stay up until past midnight every night working AND that helped me not be a total zombie when we’re up by 6am every morning.
IT KEPT ME SANE PEOPLE.
And now it’s been exactly one week since I had Bailey dump out my last one.
Now, if you REALLY know me you also know that I’ve given up the Dew a MILLION times before. And it usually lasts a day. Or two. Or three+ if I’m super determined. So when I told Chris I was giving it up he just shrugged. Like, “yeah, whatever.”
And if you could be in my head you’d know the last seven and a half days have been hell. I wake up thinking about the fact that I can’t have my fix, I go through the day avoiding my normal routes so as not to randomly, without thinking, stop at a gas station and have to fight my will power to turn around and drive away and I even let my car go until the gas light was SCREAMING at me that we needed gas today b/c I KNEW it would be HARD to resist buying just one. Just one cheater. And then God laughed at me today because I pulled in to my FAVORITE gas station, the one with the perfect cups and the good ice and the nice people that give me free sodas sometimes, with no wallet. But the car was not going to make it back home so I had to dig in the car for cash (I came up with $18 which TRULY impressed me BTW) so I could PRE-PAY. Do you know what that means? I had to GO INSIDE and stare at the soda fountain and NOT BUY A SODA. OMG it was hard. Hard like an alcoholic going into a bar at happy hour for an ice tea. I mean seriously.
But I resisted. And every time in the last week I had desperately wanted to call Imo’s or run to the gas station I didn’t. Every time my kids were driving me CRAZY and I thought, “I deserve this, damnit!” I would fill up my new Tervis Tumbler with more water and pretend it tasted like SOMETHING instead of NOTHING.
Wanna know why?
Because my dear friend Lyndsay sent me an article that describes the ingredients in Mountain Dew. And the article is titled “Death in a can” of all things. Nice right?
And here’s the thing. I KNOW it is bad for my body. I know it’s part of the reason I’ve gained weight the last two years and I know I should quit. It’s just become such a part of my life, my routine, my coping mechanism that it’s been harder than hard to ever quit.
But if you know Lyndsay than you know Teagan, her son. And his intense struggles this year with his health, none of which was his fault. It’s been SO hard to watch their family go through this and not be able to do anything. Because I adore Lyndsay and want to, I don’t know, HELP. Like help with laundry or running errands or babysitting or just something. ANYTHING. But I’m so far away. So when she sent me the email and actually blogged about me HERE (it’s the article too if you’re interested in knowing the ingredients!) I cried, called Bailey over and asked her to dump out the newly delivered Mountain Dew.
And I haven’t had one since.
Because if Lynds can go through SO much and give up SO much I can do this one thing. Which I know makes her happy b/c she worries about the JUNK I was filling my body with. Because she cares about me and so in return I’m honoring her and quitting. And so far, so good.
I’ve let this post sit all day and now it’s after 10pm. I let it sit b/c today kind of sucked. I had a head ache (haven’t actually had many of those thank goodness), I had NO patience and yelled at the kids ALL day about stupid crap that makes me now feel like the worst mom in the world. Not to mention I found out yesterday I actually have to increase my hours at work which means my mom will be doing a lot of the driving to and from school for me and I hit a wall. A big huge concrete wall. Right now I just can’t imagine working harder. And to be perfectly honest, I love taking Bailey and Parker to school with all the stay-at-home moms… it makes me feel normal and for just minutes a day I can pretend I live the life I dream of and not the one that’s been forced on me by necessity. So today sucked and I wasn’t sure I could get through it without cheating.
But I did.
After I got the kids bathed Terri read books to them so I could go for a run and those 31 minutes of jogging were the perfect remedy. I came back sweaty, exhausted and feeling better. And although I talked all night about just giving up and getting a soda, I didn’t. My will power is getting stronger.
Oh, and the BIGGEST (and only?) benefit? I’m losing weight! Weigh in for our biggest loser competition at the KCCI office is tomorrow morning so I’ll get to see where I am but I’m actually excited to step on the scale now and see the numbers slowly+steadily getting smaller!
All thanks to Lyndsay. Who cared enough to put herself out there and say STOP JOD!
Oh, and to the Duder, Teagan. My biggest cheerleader!